Journals48
Newest
re:cosplay
3 min read
whenever i say i want to quit cosplaying and i'm quitting cosplay etc.. i don't end up quitting D:
after saying that for 20000-infinitys, i finally came to this conclusion:
i am NOT quitting cosplay, i am only changing MY ATTITUDE towards it.
after all, it's just a hobby which i indulge as an outlet to unleash my artistic masochism and it used to be my form of escapism from university studies.
i used to take it ALL SO SRSLY and honestly, it made me such a bitter person ;^; i never intended to since all i ever wanted was to look good and not be picked on while dressing up as whatever character i want. it came to the point where... i started HATING cosplay. however, at the same time, i love MAKING cosplays.
in addition, being pushed by my own's batshit career-woman self, i have tons other better things to do that cosplay. this is not a hobby which i am able to turn into my career. it's just a passion, like how i have mad passion for fashion (OMGITRHYMESHURR) but much less.
at the end of the day however, no harm done guys
really.. no harm at all. so chillax okay??
it's just me, not being serious about cosplay anymore and only focussing on things that really matters in my life right now and for the future.
after saying that for 20000-infinitys, i finally came to this conclusion:
i am NOT quitting cosplay, i am only changing MY ATTITUDE towards it.
after all, it's just a hobby which i indulge as an outlet to unleash my artistic masochism and it used to be my form of escapism from university studies.
i used to take it ALL SO SRSLY and honestly, it made me such a bitter person ;^; i never intended to since all i ever wanted was to look good and not be picked on while dressing up as whatever character i want. it came to the point where... i started HATING cosplay. however, at the same time, i love MAKING cosplays.
in addition, being pushed by my own's batshit career-woman self, i have tons other better things to do that cosplay. this is not a hobby which i am able to turn into my career. it's just a passion, like how i have mad passion for fashion (OMGITRHYMESHURR) but much less.
at the end of the day however, no harm done guys
really.. no harm at all. so chillax okay??
it's just me, not being serious about cosplay anymore and only focussing on things that really matters in my life right now and for the future.
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
reminiscing 2012 and onwards to 2013
9 min read
Link name Link name Link name
i felt like writing a new entry but i don't like having too many journals XD
so here's an edit + update instead~
2012
it's the last day of 2012 and looking back, there is so much i want to say about this year.
it hasn't exactly been forgiving. so much depressing things had happened, mistakes made, hurting people, lost them... at times it felt like it has been an emotional roller coaster for my little batshit self. i lost count of the number of times i cried myself to sleep xD it has been really really difficult all the way from start till december 20th
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbi… (please comment if you can't see it)
it was definitely a dream come true
but most importantly, 2012 has taught me the most important lessons for me to bring forth to 2013 and helped me discover myself.
who i truly am and which dream i should chase.. what i am worth.. to whom i'm worth to..
2012 has definitely matured me a lot and made me a lot stronger and braver, more responsible and realistic person.. taught me to look at the bigger perspective and not lose sight of the tiny details because the tiniest gestures at some lost unknown corner can mean everything.. to be accepting and focus on what matters the most in the short run but not forget my goals.. to look deeper beyond physical and verbal reasons in a person..
i wish i can share everything with you but i might end up essay-ing DX
and with that..
2013
.. i carry the lessons and memories with me and leap my tiny batshit self to tomorrow - 2013
i still don't know what i want to say for 2013 but for now, i hope my TR application gets through so that i get to do the 20000 more things i want to do next year and be even more batshit XD
wishing everyone glorious holidays and a fantastic 2013!!
i can never thank you enough
papa, mama, bro & sis for all your love and support throughout my whole life
my dear boyfriend evan
and exgroupmates for being to tolenrant and amazing to me
grandpa tomi
, mark 
, lisa daddy 
, auntie samantha 
, grandma skye 
, jillcakes 
, husband 
, auntie 
, imouto 
stepmama 
, steppapa 
, yumiface 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
.. and everyone i have met and touched and creeped for your face and called you unicorns this year
devART watchers and people who visited my page and dropped favs and kind comments, thank you for your support!!
i felt like writing a new entry but i don't like having too many journals XD
so here's an edit + update instead~
2012 it's the last day of 2012 and looking back, there is so much i want to say about this year.
it hasn't exactly been forgiving. so much depressing things had happened, mistakes made, hurting people, lost them... at times it felt like it has been an emotional roller coaster for my little batshit self. i lost count of the number of times i cried myself to sleep xD it has been really really difficult all the way from start till december 20th
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbi… (please comment if you can't see it)
it was definitely a dream come true
but most importantly, 2012 has taught me the most important lessons for me to bring forth to 2013 and helped me discover myself.
who i truly am and which dream i should chase.. what i am worth.. to whom i'm worth to..
2012 has definitely matured me a lot and made me a lot stronger and braver, more responsible and realistic person.. taught me to look at the bigger perspective and not lose sight of the tiny details because the tiniest gestures at some lost unknown corner can mean everything.. to be accepting and focus on what matters the most in the short run but not forget my goals.. to look deeper beyond physical and verbal reasons in a person..
i wish i can share everything with you but i might end up essay-ing DX
and with that..
2013 .. i carry the lessons and memories with me and leap my tiny batshit self to tomorrow - 2013
i still don't know what i want to say for 2013 but for now, i hope my TR application gets through so that i get to do the 20000 more things i want to do next year and be even more batshit XD
wishing everyone glorious holidays and a fantastic 2013!!
i can never thank you enough
papa, mama, bro & sis for all your love and support throughout my whole life
my dear boyfriend evan
and exgroupmates for being to tolenrant and amazing to megrandpa tomi
, mark , lisa daddy , auntie samantha , grandma skye , jillcakes , husband , auntie , imouto stepmama , steppapa , yumiface , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .. and everyone i have met devART watchers and people who visited my page and dropped favs and kind comments, thank you for your support!!
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
please pardon the lame AS3 code/title thing and i will try my best to keep this short and sweet ><
a while back, i posted this.
i'm so sorry for stirring up all the feels and air-ing my dirty life laundry and i would like to thank you all for your kind messages on the deviation! i don't know how to reply to them but thank you so much for those heartfelt messages
as of 8th december 2012, on saturday morning at 8am, the result of my lifelong struggle (especially during the last two months) to get to the first step upon chasing my impossible dreams.. i have finally graduated from university and earned my Bachelor's degree in Arts - Games and Interactivity.
my mama told me that the fortune teller at the temple (oh yea, i'm buddhist) predicted that i will face a lot of difficulty during my tertiary education years in the hope that i will be able to prepare myself for it and it cannot be any more true. there were countless times when i wanted to give up and settle back into my comfort zone, when things outside my control has made me crumble and pushed me deeper into the endless pit.. as the results of the insecurities i have accumulated from my past catalyzed the effects to the point which i could not get back up, lost persons who were once close to me and gave up on myself completely.. there could have been times when i could have saved myself nonetheless if only i had the right cerebral system (i.e. mindset /heh) and used my hardware properly but.. i wasn't programmed to do so (not brought up to think that way). i confess, i do have a severe case of depression and i'm not going to hide it
but ah.. please don't worry about it guys, i am recovering and doing fine and have recently done things to fix myself out of it which involves re-programming my system and yeaaaa medications oTL and besides, it's not something that is uncommon i believe.. still, when i first found out and admitted it to myself, i felt alone .______. well... which person is able to tell what has been happening in another person's life and make an accurate definition out of it D:
i'm still the same old mel a.k.a. lame shit who once, is and will always be: a complete lie~ the only thing that is different is just how i am inside and i'm sure it won't affect anything
back on topic and to end this, i would like to thank everyone
who have caused me pain and suffering.
without you, i will not discover this major catastrophical fault in me and to get up and fix it. without you, i will never be able to learn the importance of believing in myself.
who care, love and trusted me
without you, i will not learn to be strong for myself. without your heartfelt motivation, i will never know that there are people who trust my abilities to make achievements be it big/small.. without you, i will always think i am alone.
all that is past now and i can only look back on the lessons i have learnt out of this and continue my chase for the impossible 8D
i believe in staying positive, not comparing yourself to anyone else and to not let anyone compare you. just focus and work hard. your determination determines the outcome of your hardwork and no matter what you are always rewarded with something at the end.. and even, along the way. therefore, i shall never be discouraged in myself anymore.. especially now that i know what i can do. or what i want to do/achieve in my life
with this, i am now officially a NEET at the moment. haha!!
i can eventually take it easy for now and get my TR done.. get a job and be fully independent for myself in australia
wish me luck!!
a while back, i posted this.
i'm so sorry for stirring up all the feels and air-ing my dirty life laundry and i would like to thank you all for your kind messages on the deviation! i don't know how to reply to them but thank you so much for those heartfelt messages
as of 8th december 2012, on saturday morning at 8am, the result of my lifelong struggle (especially during the last two months) to get to the first step upon chasing my impossible dreams.. i have finally graduated from university and earned my Bachelor's degree in Arts - Games and Interactivity.
my mama told me that the fortune teller at the temple (oh yea, i'm buddhist) predicted that i will face a lot of difficulty during my tertiary education years in the hope that i will be able to prepare myself for it and it cannot be any more true. there were countless times when i wanted to give up and settle back into my comfort zone, when things outside my control has made me crumble and pushed me deeper into the endless pit.. as the results of the insecurities i have accumulated from my past catalyzed the effects to the point which i could not get back up, lost persons who were once close to me and gave up on myself completely.. there could have been times when i could have saved myself nonetheless if only i had the right cerebral system (i.e. mindset /heh) and used my hardware properly but.. i wasn't programmed to do so (not brought up to think that way). i confess, i do have a severe case of depression and i'm not going to hide it
but ah.. please don't worry about it guys, i am recovering and doing fine and have recently done things to fix myself out of it which involves re-programming my system and yeaaaa medications oTL and besides, it's not something that is uncommon i believe.. still, when i first found out and admitted it to myself, i felt alone .______. well... which person is able to tell what has been happening in another person's life and make an accurate definition out of it D:
i'm still the same old mel a.k.a. lame shit who once, is and will always be: a complete lie~ the only thing that is different is just how i am inside and i'm sure it won't affect anything
back on topic and to end this, i would like to thank everyone
who have caused me pain and suffering.
without you, i will not discover this major catastrophical fault in me and to get up and fix it. without you, i will never be able to learn the importance of believing in myself.
who care, love and trusted me
without you, i will not learn to be strong for myself. without your heartfelt motivation, i will never know that there are people who trust my abilities to make achievements be it big/small.. without you, i will always think i am alone.
all that is past now and i can only look back on the lessons i have learnt out of this and continue my chase for the impossible 8D
i believe in staying positive, not comparing yourself to anyone else and to not let anyone compare you. just focus and work hard. your determination determines the outcome of your hardwork and no matter what you are always rewarded with something at the end.. and even, along the way. therefore, i shall never be discouraged in myself anymore.. especially now that i know what i can do. or what i want to do/achieve in my life
with this, i am now officially a NEET at the moment. haha!!
i can eventually take it easy for now and get my TR done.. get a job and be fully independent for myself in australia
wish me luck!!
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
apologies for inactivity!!
2 min read
uni is ending soon and i've been having too much things on my brain and everywhere else to juggle!
i do visit dA on and off to check messages but i've let them pile up again ;A;
i don't think i can check every single one of them but thank you so much for your comments and favs and waches! please don't get offended if i don't end up replying..
i do visit dA on and off to check messages but i've let them pile up again ;A;
i don't think i can check every single one of them but thank you so much for your comments and favs and waches! please don't get offended if i don't end up replying..
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
costume rant: Black Widow
6 min read
there is so much to say about this costume that it deserves its own journal YAY~
the costume that i debuted TWICE for two conventions almost week-to-week
i admit i am quite proud of my efforts..
first bodysuit, first gloves, first detailed props, first buckles holsters and all that shit.. and first time trying to turn a waist-length wig into a short bob wig without cutting.
all in 1 week (total, spread accross two conventions HAHA)
the first debut of this costume was at Oz Comic Con, saturday with
as Hawkeye and as Lokiwords cannot describe how glad i was to actually stupidly manage to whip out the costume and put myself in it. i finished my physics exam about.. 2-3 weeks?? prior to the event.. i think and i was mucking around- and being lazy/emo/crazy shit. so i didn't start the costume until sunday night 1 week before the event oTL
so... i had 6 days to make this one hell of a crazy costume
which i thought i will never look /decent/ in.
then.. there i go, carving and filing those
for the glove pattern) and handsew my gloves because my sewing machine refused my insanity. they are all joined together in one piece btw ;D next was the bodysuit which i drafted and sew myself too. i know it's not the perfect thing because apparently i overestimated how fat my legs are so i had to chop 1/3 of the suit away 8Dthe last thing i did was the holster because it was already friday night by then. i have no time so they looked like... whatever shit i can put together so that the guns can stay on me for the whole day (thank you
for the gun loan). and they stayed on, obidiently, the whole day the con and the shoot until i got home.and then i pulled myself out of that skin eating suit.. gloves took like... 20-30mins?? boots were 3-5, then holsters was... "mweh-- OFF".. then another 10mins to completely peel myself out of the bodysuit and then wig was.. 15mins to unpin myself out of it and then return it nicely to the case. so yaaaa... about 1hr in total 8D
after that i immediately ripped my holsters apart LOL
the second debut for the costume was SMASH! sydney
partly because i was lazy to make another costume and
and i were still avenging everythinggggggthis was a chance for me to make the costume look better but out of my exhaustion and laziness, i was not able to prettify the costume until the day before the convention. i had to re-make my holsters. the rip at the crotch of the bodysuit was fixed before i flew to sydney but the holster were still in... materials 8"D WEEP
then i did.
and they look okay. i mean, better.
but i had to keep taking my gun in and out because i forgot to bring the spare gun to the con oTL
and i ripped one of them
/SCREAM
so in some photos at the cosplay comp, one of my holsters had WHITE UGLY TAPES on them 8"D
I'M SO SORRY PHOTOGRAPHERS ;; if i had not been so careless and stupid and brought my spare gun, i would have looked less retarded in your photos ;A;
but anyways.. the con is over. costume is most likely retiring itself for now.. and all these PHEELS are now out...
i'm really thankful to all my friends who have helped, tolerated and pushed me to doing this unbelievable thing and looking back, i am quite convinced i do look /decent/ as Black Widow
i can never thank your presence enough and for everything that you have done to make me realise this one hell of a crazy wish
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featured
re:cosplay by meeelldango, journal
re:cosplay
whenever i say i want to quit cosplaying and i'm quitting cosplay etc.. i don't end up quitting D:
after saying that for 20000-infinitys, i finally came to this conclusion:
i am NOT quitting cosplay, i am only changing MY ATTITUDE towards it.
after all, it's just a hobby which i indulge as an outlet to unleash my artistic masochism and it used to be my form of escapism from university studies.
i used to take it ALL SO SRSLY and honestly, it made me such a bitter person ;^; i never intended to since all i ever wanted was to look good and not be picked on while dressing up as whatever character i want. it came to the point where... i starte
reminiscing 2012 and onwards to 2013 by meeelldango, journal
reminiscing 2012 and onwards to 2013
i felt like writing a new entry but i don't like having too many journals XD
so here's an edit + update instead~
:bulletred: 2012 :bulletred:
it's the last day of 2012 and looking back, there is so much i want to say about this year.
it hasn't exactly been forgiving. so much depressing things had happened, mistakes made, hurting people, lost them... at times it felt like it has been an emotional roller coaster for my little batshit self. i lost count of the number of times i cried myself to sleep xD it has been really really difficult all the way from start till december 20th
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151129188975755&l=1d1
lifeStory.phaseOne.hitTestObject(''complete'') by meeelldango, journal
lifeStory.phaseOne.hitTestObject(''complete'')
please pardon the lame AS3 code/title thing and i will try my best to keep this short and sweet ><
a while back, i posted this.
:thumb335758668:
i'm so sorry for stirring up all the feels and air-ing my dirty life laundry and i would like to thank you all for your kind messages on the deviation! i don't know how to reply to them but thank you so much for those heartfelt messages :heart:
as of 8th december 2012, on saturday morning at 8am, the result of my lifelong struggle (especially during the last two months) to get to the first step upon chasing my impossible dreams.. i have finally graduated from university and earned my Bachelor's d
apologies for inactivity!! by meeelldango, journal
apologies for inactivity!!
uni is ending soon and i've been having too much things on my brain and everywhere else to juggle!
i do visit dA on and off to check messages but i've let them pile up again ;A;
i don't think i can check every single one of them but thank you so much for your comments and favs and waches! please don't get offended if i don't end up replying..
OZ ComicCon and SMASH 2012 + life(you may skip t by meeelldango, journal
OZ ComicCon and SMASH 2012 + life(you may skip t
'SUP :D
it's been a while since i wrote anything. i wanted to write a journal after i attended Oz ComicCon with my sexy boys ~Blackcrane56 (https://www.deviantart.com/blackcrane56) Hawkeye and :icondarcywilliam: Loki but exhaustion got ahead of me and then.. smash and then exhausted again so here i go yay~ EXTREMELY LATE UPDATE, lame facebook photos and spamming you with what's going on with my fail!life wheeee \o/
it will be short and you don't have to read it ^^;
:bulletred: Oz ComicCon :bulletred:
saturday was suit-up day as Natalia "Natasha" Romanova a.k.a. Black Widow and avenge the world from trollicious stupidly beautiful-faced :icondarcywilliam: a.k.a. my gf as Loki